Marry - Han Solo. I think he'd leave me alone sometimes. And he's not a whiner.
Shag - this is a really tough one. I'm going to go with the Joker, though. Sure, he'll probably kill me, but his pillow talk would be awesome.
Throw off a cliff - sorry, Lee. You're just such a whiny little bitch. Yes, you're hotter than the other two put together, but I'd eventually have to kill you anyway, so let's just get it over with, hmm?