Willow: "Great, I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-IM-DATING-A-SKANKY-HO"
Buffy: "We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul, and besides, I don't even own a kimono"
Spike: "You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Real love isn't brains, children. It's blood. It's blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."
(girly voice) "How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad-hunk-of-a-knight-thing?"
(manly voice) "No need little lady. Your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire. But love, and a pesky curse, defanged me. And now, I'm just a big fluffy puppy with bad teeth. No! Not the hair! Never the hair."
(girly voice) "But there must be some way I can show my appreciation."
(manly voice) "No, helping those in need's my job. And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough."
(girly voice) "I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so..."
(manly voice) "Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that Nancy-boy hair gel I like so much. Quickly! To the Angel-mobile! Away!"